Top jokes of 2011

The top jokes of 2011 all came in the last few hours of the year. They are all in the form of what the left wing media jokingly call 'journalism'.

Andrew Lansley plans to stare at womens breasts. Nice job if you can get it.

Hospitals told they should 'speed up' treatment for the elderly. Presumably so that they can be counted for the hospital targets before the patients die.

Jeremy Hunt rejects calls for 'austerity' Olympics. It is a bit late now that they have spent £9.3 billion and sold all of the tickets for top prices to rich foreigners.

New Year honours list reflects my aims for 'big society', says David Cameron. So now we know what Big Society is all about - meeting the Queen to get a medal.

Patients with unhealthy lifestyles must be warned, say experts. Presumably lazy fat alcoholic smokers need experts to tell them that they are unhealthy. As if the doctor has not already done that.

And the funniest of them all:

Euro could become world's leading currency. That assumes that it is still around by the end of 2012.

And finally:

Labour attack BBC for pro-coalition bias. The Guardian happily printed the Labour party press release. Ed Miliband's low ratings have nothing to do with him being useless then.

Did nobody tell him that journalism is a joke in this country?