Bar stories

There is a joke going around on Twitter:

A conservative, a moderate, and a liberal walk into a bar.

The bartender says: “Hello, Mitt!”

Yes, I know, it is not a funny joke.

I suppose the story is supposed to indicate that Mitt Romney is trying to be all things to all people.




Here is my version of the story.

There is a group of 100 people. 30 of them are Democratic Liberals, 30 of them are Republican Conservatives and 40 of them are moderate swing voters.

They go to a street with two bars over two nights, with Obama bar tending one bar and Romney/Santorum working as bartenders on alternating nights.

On the first night:
- 30 of the Republicans go into the bar where Santorum is bar tending.
- 30 of the Democrats go to the Obama Bar, not because they love Obama but because they hate the Santorum bar crowd.
- 10 of the Moderates go into the Santorum bar but 20 go into the Obama bar because it has more women in it (women don't like Santorum for some reason). The other 10 stay home because both bars are too noisy.

Obama bar = 30+20 = 50
Santorum bar = 30+10 = 40
Stay home = 10 = 10

This night offers two extremes which puts off the moderates but gets the conservatives and liberals excited about a night of drinking. Obama wins because he appeals to more women.




On the second night:
- 15 of the Republicans go into the Romney bar - the other 15 go home because they don't like the flavour of his drinks.
- 20 of the Democrats go to the Obama Bar, but the other 10 go home because they think Obama waters down his drinks.
- 30 of the Moderates go into the Romney bar (because Obama is too expensive) and 10 into the Obama bar (out of habit?).

Obama bar = 20+10 = 30
Romney bar = 15+30 = 45
Stay home = 10+15 = 25

This night is more moderate. Romney doesn't get conservatives excited but he doesn't put off the moderates or get the liberals excited either.


OK, so my story isn't funny either. It does, however, show why I think Republicans should pick Romney over Santorum.

Santorum may be more Conservative and more to Republican taste, but he would be divisive, push moderates into the Obama camp and worse, he would energise the Democratic faithful.

Romney may not be a Red Meat Conservative, and he may put off some moderates because of his wealth, but he would pull in more moderates than Santorum and not excite the Democratic activists that Obama needs to get out his vote.