The Safety Dance

Note: this is in the process of being changed to "people without hats".

Thank god that Labour are still here. What would we do without them? Their most recent contribution to the well being of our country is the Woman's Safety Commission.

Labour tell us that:

We know that women are already being hit hard economically by the Government's policies. Independent research has shown women are paying more than twice as much as men in tax and benefit changes – not least because of the scale of cuts to family support.

But there is growing evidence that women’s sense of safety and security is also being threatened.

Actually independent research shows than men pay most tax and women receive most benefits, but that is not the interesting bit. This growing evidence that women’s sense of safety and security is also being threatened is shocking! We can't have that now, can we? We can't let woman's sense of safety and security be threatened when men's sense of safety and security is fine.

Wait a minute - is men's sense of safety and security fine? I can't tell. There doesn't seem to be a Men's Safety Commission.

Further:

Labour has therefore launched a Consultation on Women’s Safety, which will take evidence on the impact of the Government’s decisions on women’s safety and consider how to protect and enhance women’s personal safety. In the context of the current financial pressures, it will also consider proposals for a new Personal Safety Bill to tackle violence against women.

So, Labour are protecting and enhancing women’s personal safety, but they are leaving men unprotected and with diminished personal safety.

Can we please have a new Personal Safety Bill (Men) too? After all, I'm pretty sure that most violence in this country actually happens against men.

Anyway, back to the Women's Safety issue. It certainly is a big issue.

Lets start with banning high heel shoes. They are very dangerous.



Next, makeup can make you blind, so lets ban that too.



Long hair is also a health and safety no-no. Banned.




Thankfully, Yvette Cooper is safe. She doesn't wear much make-up, has short hair and wears sensible shoes.



Unfortunately, Caroline Flint has a few safety problems.



Ahh, now I see why Yvette is showing so much interest in the safety of women....